Star Wars VII

Episode VII Spoilers…maybe!

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BEWARE SPOILER BELOW!!!!  (Maybe)

Star War VII

About a year ago I posted my thoughts on Star Wars: Episode VII.  I made a prediction that the movie would start with a starship traveling somewhere (that was a hard prediction since every SW movie has started with a ship arriving or traveling somewhere) but at the time the prediction I made had the Millennium Falcon being the traveling starship.  I would like to take that prediction back because…

…the Falcon has been stored on the desert planet that is home to the tough living Rey (Daisy Ridley).  It has been stored there for several reasons that I will get into in a moment.  In the most recent trailer the Falcon is being chased by tie fighters and during the fight the much beloved craft of the original trilogy daringly flies through the wreckage of the crashed star destroyer.  Now, that would seem a crazy maneuver, one that is certainly against all odds (I won’t quote those odds of course) that is, unless the pilot was aware of the layout of the crashed destroyer and knew there was a way out and not just durasteel bulkheads waiting at the end of what would be a short flight.

Now why was the Falcon hidden away and why do I think it was hidden in the first place?  Well, here come my spoiler predictions.  BEWARE!!!

Falcon

Episode VII starts 30 years or so after Return of the Jedi.  Things didn’t go so well for the Rebellion after the death of the Emperor, Vader, and destruction of the latest iteration of the Death Star.  Why?  Because the Empire was…well it was an empire.  A big, big empire with many huge warships and millions and millions of troops.  They weren’t going to surrender and go home so easily now would they?  I why should they?  It wouldn’t make sense.  They still outnumber the rebels tremendously and don’t need to make decisions based on morals and feelings like the good guys do.  In the wake of the loss the emperor the remaining Empire leadership got together and likely said: “probably be a good idea to kill that Luke guy, Sole, and Leia about now, you all agree?”  So assassin squids are sent out.  Bounties are set and no kidding this time.  Bring me Han’s head and you get a planet…because we have a million to spare.  Seems a worthwhile transaction in my estimation.  The Rebellion was still pretty small so they can’t protect all their people all the time.  There were probably some higher ups that got snugged.  Akbar probably didn’t see that it was a trap at least once (by the way it’s not helpful to say “it’s a trap” after its been sprung).

Luke probably saw that by staying close to his friends they would be put in danger so he may keep to his own little solo missions because he’s no general…he does pretty dumb and selfish stuff after all.  SO of course Luke goes off and becomes corrupted by the dark side like Yoda warned.  Which was why we didn’t see him in the last trailer.  If you saw he was a bad guy there would be a missing twist opportunity.

AT-AT Wreckage     Han and Leia on the other hand have a couple kids.  A boy and a girl.  They’re a happy family but they find that there is a bad guy(s) out their hunting them and knocking off the few jedi that have come out of the woodwork with the demise of Vader.  They decide to have older brother fool with the memories of his little sister and pretty much brainwash her into forgetting who she is, her jedi abilities, and who her family is.  She wasn’t a fan of this but she didn’t want her family to be hurt so she went with it.  She is hidden off on a desert planet (somewhat like the planet where her uncle was hidden away on except this one has only one sun) and so she, Rey, lives her lonely life in the desert taking refuge in a home made from a destroyed AT-AT with her time spent tinkering on machinery (like her grandfather Vader), scrounging the battlefield littered with star destroyers and other downed craft, while working for some alien I expect to be Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o).  All the while Rey is having these feelings that something is missing…cases of déjà vu are rampant etc.  She says at some point “I am no one” despite the fact that she is an uber jedi in waiting.

Rey is not the only valuable hidden away on the desert planet…the Falcon is also hidden away on the planet because it’s like a beacon strobe that says “HAN SOLO IS HERE.”  That’s why in one of the short clips Han says “We’re home” and he looks relieved and nostalgic and then how he knows to fly through the downed star destroyer while being chased by a tie fighter.

Okay so what about older brother that mind wiped little sister Rey?  What happened to him you ask?  Well, in being older brother he felt that he would be able to protect himself and fight against those that were hunting him and his family (possible Uncle “dark side” Luke).  It didn’t work out so well.  He turns to the dark side himself and goes all naughty and jedi killy at the behest of his uncle.  The galaxy needs order and only a nice sith working party can do that.  They both, Ren and Luke, work to finish what Vader (grandpa and dad respectively) failed to do which was unite the galaxy and bring order; such a proud family.

Melted Vader Helmet

So Kylo Ren is Han and Leia’s son who mind wiped daughter Rey and is now hunting them all because good is dumb (I heard that once before…long before you were born).  Some of the math adds up at least.  The actor that plays Ren is just over 30 and the movie takes place 30-years after Return of the Jedi.  The actress that plays Rey (Rey and Ren by the way…how many parents use the same letter to start their kids first names…too many if you ask me!) is 23 so when Rey had her mind wiped she would have been like 8 or 9 and her brother would be 15+ which is old enough to be a decent jedi perhaps but surely old enough to be super stubborn and say “no, I’m a grown up jedi now and I can fight off jedi hunter uncle Luke myself.”

Now, just which major character dies?  We need a worthy sacrifice and Jar-Jar won’t work (I think Jar-Jar is biding his time by the way and will make his move in Episode VIII by the way).  Sorry Chewbacca but we’ll miss you.  Our poor Wookie, perhaps the best “person” out of all the SW characters, will sacrifice himself and be slain by…probably Ren though I wouldn’t be surprised to hear it was Captain Phasma because she has to do something badass.  Why else does she wear a shiny storm trooper outfit than to show off how tough she is?

Knights of Ren

Oh, and about the character of Finn played by John Boyega?  Well, he’s a storm trooper that’s becoming more and more upset that he is on the side of the bad guys but, like any gang, you just can’t walk away without being…well, killed.  So, after participating in the opening scene massacre, a massacre led by Kylo Ren (and his Knights of Ren buddies) as they hunt jedi and resistance folks alike, Finn decides he’s done and it’s now time to get out.  He jumps in a tie fighter, which of course all storm troopers can fly (perhaps he is special because he’s a secret jedi and can just do things…the jedi part is also a reason to leave because he’s part of a bunch of fellas hunting jedi and it’s probably not a great idea to stick around).  He blasts his way out of the star destroyer and flies away and it’s all good until it isn’t and he gets shot down and crashes which brings the bad guys to the doorstep of Rey and that brings Han, Chewie, and Leia out of hiding to protect their kid against their other kid.  Chase ensues for an hour and Chewie dies in a cold, dark forest or something like that.

Enjoy the movie!

Don’t let me know if I’m right because I hate spoilers!!!

Cheers!

JW

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They have no idea…

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They have no idea…

I was one of the many many’s to watch the latest Star Wars trailer last night during half-time of the Monday Night Football game.  And I weathered the annoying duo of  overrated Mike Tirico and the even more overrated Jon Gruden I might add to do so.  Thankfully the slings and arrows I endured were worth it for the trailer…well it left me and my wife in tears.  Nostalgic.  Inspiring.  A promise of a taste of home cooking!  I was just absolutely enraptured by the sights and sounds.  If the film is even a tenth of quality of the 2+ min trailer then I have to say it will be a difficult film to beat in my eyes as movie of the year.  I simply can’t wait to see if this holds true!

Today I showed my students the trailer during a break in the festivities of learning what needed to be known on the upcoming state test (never mind learning anything useful).  Most had not yet seen the trailer.  And most had only the more recent (m&*#^$FU^%#&g) prequels as a reference point.  Few, a sad, sad few, had ever seen the originals.  Now talk about what is wrong with America!  Throw aside all the criminals that are running for or currently holding office…we need everyone to sit down and watch the originals…oh and then burn the prequels afterwards!

Trailer Episode VII
Trailer Episode VII

After viewing the most recent trailer with my class I then went on to field questions.  One of the questions was regarding the Disney purchase of the brand (a few of my kids pay attention to the news even if just the celebrity and entertainment sections).  I shared that the good thing about the evil empire (Disney) is that they have A LOT OF MONEY.  Mountains of it in fact and like American politicians they are willing to throw tons of it at an issue hoping for a solution.  The solution for Disney with the faltering Star Wars franchise it to make more movies…and more…and more.  I told the kids that they have no idea what is ahead of them.  I then briefed them on just what was in store.  For at least the next 6-years they will have a Christmas or summer Star Wars movie to attend.  Three movies in the series and three films in the anthologies (monsters of the week – so popular in an established series because it focuses on one smaller story normally alluded to in the greater canon and context in the series whole).  They were stunned.  “We get to see something like this…every year for the next six years!?”

Yes.

Originally I was concerned that director J.J. Abrams would bring along his friend from the Lost series Damon Lindelof (ruiner of Prometheus – shame!!!) but when I found Lindelof was not attached to SW oh boy was I excited.  I can only hope I and my student are subjected to what Star Wars could be and not what it has been over the past decade.  I can only hope…you listening Obi –Wan Kenobi?!  You’re my only hope!

P.S.  This movie better begin with the Millennium Falcon flying overhead!!!

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3343889177

Star Wars Episode VII Guessifications (UPDATED)

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UPDATED CONTENT AT BOTTOM OF POST

As I was walking my wookie this morning (my dog Jack who we call “wookie”) I was thinking about the upcoming Episode VII of the Star Wars franchise.  I think about Star Wars often.  I even watched the best of the first 6 (I have to include the terrible terrible terrible prequels in the 6 I guess) as recently as last night; The Empire Strikes Back.  Even the sometimes glaring silliness of that movie such as Fett and Slave I not being spotted in the rear view mirror by Han, who is an experienced smuggler who is always on the lookout for “the man,” as he jetted away from the dumped trash after the star destroyer departed.  There are several others but that isn’t what this post is about.

And getting to it…

star_wars_7_movie_poster

My first guessification (aka prediction) is that because the Star Wars movies always start with a starship shot, of the craft arriving somewhere – Abrams better not mess with this tradition!!! – the first thing we will all see in Episode VII is…the Millennium Falcon.  I believe that seeing the Falcon, for the first time in more than 30-years!!!!, folks will stand and cheer (with me among them despite not being a “cheery” kinda guy).  This will go a long way towards setting the tone for the new series.  A tone that was last set by leaving the audience with mouths agape at the end of Episode I when folks were trying to come to terms with such a terrible terrible terrible opening for what would be one of the worst trilogies of all time.

Stay tuned for more guessifications as the inspiration strikes.

UPDATED:  So I predicted (guessified) that Episode VII – The Force Awakens (kinda a silly name?? maybe??) will start with a ship traveling/arriving.  Now, more specifically I would like to speculate just what that ship is.  What was missing in the prequels?  Well, an awful lot as we all know, but what I noticed as missing from the theaters was excitement and cheering.  Of coruse there was cheering for those folks that bought tickets months in advance or stood in line all day to get to a midnight showing.  That sort of excitement is expected for such a franchise and its loving followers.  Some of those that saw the prequels the first day probably thought Jar-jar was “fun”…to avoid a tangent I’ll get to the point.  Finally.  That ship we’ll see zooming from an underneath shot will be…the Millennium Falcon of course!  What better craft to bring everyone to their feet in excitement?  There’s your update.

Cheers!

JW